One of the reasons why letting go is so challenging is because we are stepping into the unknown. We are leaving behind something that may have given us some certainty and familiarity to start a new path.

Whether we are letting go of a past relationship, a bad habit, or an old pattern, it’s never easy. According to spirituality expert Aaron Doughty, the mechanism that makes letting go hard is a safety valve that we all have that is trying to keep us within a little box. However, the things that are “keeping us safe” and “keeping us where we are” is precisely what we need to get rid of.

1. Gossiping about others: Gossip sows distrust amongst your team, family, and friends. When your friends or coworkers hear you tearing someone else down, even when painted with a false sense of care for that individual, it causes others who listen to you to wonder what you might be saying about them when they are not around. If you value open and trusting relationships, avoid gossip and offhanded talk about others.

2. Fear of change: Very often, some of us think about change in all-or-nothing ways, in ways that we even have difficulty articulating because the future seems so full of anxiety. One strategy to eliminate the fear of change is to look at the costs and benefits. The Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy recommends writing down the pros and cons of making a particular change. Reading out loud your thoughts will give you some clarity in confusing times.

3. Worrying about things we can’t control: We all want to have some peace in our lives, which means knowing that everything will be alright. However, you won’t be happy when you attach your happiness to something external, meaning something outside of yourself. Worrying about things we can’t control is normal. Nevertheless, we shouldn’t let those intrusive thoughts disrupt our happiness. Today, let go of overthinking and feel grateful for the present and the things you can control.

4. Always wanting what others have: It’s interesting to think that all those things you want in life, or at least think you want, someone else was probably born into having all of it. We don’t get to choose what kind of life we’re born into. But we do get to choose what we do with what we have. Always wanting what others have can leave you tired. Although it’s easy to envy someone for their material things or qualities, you should remember that everyone has their personal story and process. Be grateful and learn from others instead of cultivating negative feelings towards them.

5. Living in shame over your past: For many people, letting go of the past is complicated. Some even spend their lives missing how things used to be and have difficulty being present. However, we should be careful with this mentality because it could leave us stuck in our old selves. What we want is to evolve and become a new and better version of ourselves.

6. Chasing perfectionism: Perfectionism can be very damaging for the person who has it and those who surround it. There’s nothing more harmful than having unrealistic expectations. Find peace today within you and learn to be more kind to yourself.

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